do herpes really smell.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
