dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
