you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
home. puking in laundry basket.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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