I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
