Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
whose parrot is this?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
