I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
