Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
