My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
