Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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