Pappa wants mamma naked
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
