If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
