the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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