Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
