how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize