you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
