OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
