I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
