sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I need to sanitize my soul.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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