Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
