Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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