I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
