dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
