I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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