using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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