what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
this hospital has no fireball
Randomize
