Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
