when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
