worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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