I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
