Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
