I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
