we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
