There is no way he is gay with that hair.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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