Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
