I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize