dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
