you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize