i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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