By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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