Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
