Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
