OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
