Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
