I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
