i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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