ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We are all done wearing pants today
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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