im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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