I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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