Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
