I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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