I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
