ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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