we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
