hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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