It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
