OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
