; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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