Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
