okay pat passed out under dana's car
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
