My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
