Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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