her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
