If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
