just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
