Three words: puerto rican gang bang
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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