So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize