Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
