Tell her she can't have a vagina
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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