hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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