You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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