you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize